The news on 30th September with JC
Good evening, the news on Sunday the 30th of September with me Johnny Cool
The headlines, David Cameron is ready to fight back and has vowed the party will be ahead in the next opinion poll, they next one scheduled 'Which party has the most slapheads’. A sure win with Ian D Smith, William Hague and Mr Cameron on board!
In International news, Brown and Bush voice their concerns about the Military regime in Burma, they are not set to gain financially from oil or other imports/exports, it’s just a shame China isn’t near Zimbabwe!
According to a US survey ‘Majority of muslims reject terrorism’, some surveyors find the results surprising, these same individuals also think George Bush has done more for peace than anyone else.
Alistair Campbell has stated Tony Blair’s first text messages were ‘are’ and then ‘This is amazing you can do words and everything’. The last message from the party faithfuls is reported to be ‘Hooray!’
In separate news, reports that Madeline Mcann had first been seen in Gibraltar then Morocco and then on a farmers back in some remote part of Spain is beginning to sound like ‘I saw Elvis in a chip shop in Tipton’.
ITV today faced further embarrassment when a District Judge said the Jeremy Kyle show was ‘Trash and existed to titillate bored members of the public with nothing better to do’ bring back Trisha, Jerry Springer and Big Brother.
A remarkable story where a 24 year old in Argentina has married a lady 82 years of age, it’s reported that its not for her estate or money but her good looks. ‘You look gorgeous when your dentures are in love’
In sport, Lewis Hamilton has won the Japanese Grand Prix his delight was shown with a two finger salute .. in the direction of Fernando Alonso